ready for marriage? part 1

One of the most important Institution is the marraige institution, it is a sacred institution, the different religions recognise it, so does the Law of the nation. Its an institution where maximum thought should be put into before venturing into, its an institution that most of us see ourselves in about 5years time, more or less.

What are the things you are putting in place to make this a wonderful institution when you finally get into it? What are the questions you ask? What are the things you know?

First of all, NEVER GO INTO MARRIAGE WITH

THE IMPRESSION OR BELIEF THAT YOU CAN

CHANGE YOUR PARTNER. WHATEVER YOU

THINK YOU CAN’T TAKE IN MARRIAGE

SHOULD NEVER BE TAKEN IN COURTSHIP,

WITH THE AIM OF CHANGING IT AFTER

MARRIAGE, ITS EITHER YOU TRASH IT OUT OR

IF THE OTHER PERSON REFUSE TO CHANGE,

CALL IT OFF. For example, I called my first

relationship off with a guy because he’s a liar.

Laying a good foundation can never be over

emphasised in marriage. If you don’t tackle any

problem you discover from the foundation, I

mean from the courtship, don’t bother

changing the person after marriage.

Now, to what to discuss b4 marriage………….

YOUR BACKGROUND………. Make your background known to each other, like your race or tribe, your culture, your tradition in your family, etc and ask if both of you are comfortable with each other’s background.

Also, under this, you also got to speak about your pasts, and ask if you are both comfortable with each other’s past.

YOUR TEMPERAMENT……………….. Discuss about your temperament, whether extrovert or introvert, whether choleric or sanguine or melancholy or phlegmatic and discuss about how you are going to blend your temperament in such a way that it will be beneficial for both of you in your marriage. Read books on it(I recommend ‘why you act the way you do’ and opposite attracts’ both by Tim Lahaye) and see how you can tackle the weaknesses and tap the strenghts.

YOUR RELIGION………… Talk about your religion, are you both comfortable with your religion, if you are not in the same religion, who will compromise, if you two are going to practise different religion, whose religion will

the children practise.

YOUR FAMILY………. This include your children and your inlaws. How many children do you want to have. Discuss thoroughly on this.Also, your inlaws, do you love his parents and does he love your parent. Do you love his

siblings and does he love your siblings. Does he want to be identified with your people and are you ready to be identified with his people. Pls, don’t forget that inlaws are part ofdetermining factors in the success of any

marriage.

 Compiled by Lummy (Aanu made)

More questions to come in the next post. Added contributions from you all will be appreciated. 

 

Thank You

 

Mercurial.

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5 Comments

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  1. Hw do u deal with a relationship where by ur religion serves as a problem yet u guiez r nt ready to let go of urselves n d relationship?

  2. JolliePinketofmars September 17, 2013 — 11:55 am

    Smart… You’re a genius for sho…..!!!!! I celebrate you maam, can’t wait for the remaining tip-questions to ask her/him

  3. JolliePinketofmars September 17, 2013 — 12:02 pm

    I’d advice that you be realistic… Can he cope with your religion, or can you cope with his… Putting into consideration everything that goes with it, if he’s a Muslim, how yu adjust to the fasting scheme, the prayer schedule, his colleagues and friends which definitely you’re likely not going to share the same perspective on a lot of issues.. How willing he is to cope with you occasionally having vigils in church, sunday services, naming your child(ren) etc… What names your children are called……
    I used to tell people that love is not always enough to stay together forever… Else someone would be living life unfulfilled or unacomplished and the other person would definitely feel selfish.
    BUT… A strong but, if you both can agree on all that and a lot more things, and close your eyes to your religious differences or better yet adopt the same religion? Then you’re so so good to go.

  4. JolliePinketofmars September 17, 2013 — 12:05 pm

    You might have to make a strong decision… Ir you both have more sincere talking to do than loving…

  5. Nice write up. We’ll be waiting for the next one *wink*

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